...*manda*...
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "...*manda*..." journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
05:18 pm
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sorry... its pretty long. THE BLUE DAY BOOK... BRADLEY TREVOR GREIVE.
Everybody has blue days. These are days when you feel lousy, grumpy, lonely, and utterly exhausted. Days when you feel small and insignificant, when everything seems just out of reach. You can't rise to the occasion. Just fetting started seems impossible. On blue days you can become paranoid that everyone is out to get you. (This is not always such a bad thing.) You feel frustrated and anxious, which can induce a nail-biting frenzy that can escolate into a triple-chocolate-mud-cake eating frenzy in a blink of an eye! On blue days you feel like you're floating in an ocean of sadness. You're about to burst into tears at any moment and you don't even know why. Ultimately, you feel like you're wandering through life without purpose. You're not sure how much longer you can hang on, and you feel like shouting "Will someone please shoot me!" It doesn't take much to bring on a blue day. You might just wake up not feeling your best, find some new wrinkles, put on a little weight, or get a huge pimple on your nose. You could forget your date's name or have an embarrassing photograph published. You might get dumped, divorced, or fired, make a fool of yourself in public,be afflicted with a demeaning nickname, or just have a plain old bad-hair day. Maybe work is a pain in the butt. You're under major pressure to fill someone else's shoes, your boss is picking on you, and everyone in the office is driving you crazy. You might have a splitting headache, or a slipped disk, bad breath, a toothache,chronic gas, dry lips, or a nasty ingrown toenail. Whatever the reason, you're convinced that someone up there doesn't like you. Oh what to do, what to dooo? Well, if you're like most people, you'll hide behind a flimsy belief that everything will sort itself out. Then you'll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, waiting for everything to go wrong all over agian. All the while becoming crusty and cynical or a pathetic, sniveling victum. Until you get so depressed that you lie down and beg the earth to swallow you up or, even worse, become addicted to Billy Joel songs. This is crazy, because you're only young once and you're never old twice. Who knows what fantastic things are in store just around the corner? After all, the world is full of amazing discoveries, things you can't even imagine now. There are delicious, happy sniffs and scrumptious snacks to share. Hey, you might end up fabulously rich or even become a huge superstar (one day). Sounds good, doesn't it? But wait, theres more! There are handstands and games to play and yoga and karaoke and wild, crazy bohemian dancing. But best of all, there's romance. Which means long dreamy stares, whispering sweet nothings, cuddles, smooches, more smooches, and even more smooches, a frisky love bite or two, and then, well, anything goes. So how can you find that blissful "just sliding into a hot bubble bath" kind of feeling? It's easy. First, stop slinking away from all those nagging issues. It"s time to face the music. Now, just relax. Take some deep breaths (in through the nose and out through the mouth). Try to meditate if you can. Or go for a walk to clear your head. Accept the fact that you'll have to let go of some emotional baggage. Try seeing things from a differnt perspective. maybe you're actually the one at fault. If that's the case, be big enough to say you're sorry (it's never to late to do this). If someone else is doing the wrong thing, stand up and say, "That's not right and I won't stand for it!" It's okay to be forceful. (It's rarely ok to blow rasperries.) Be proud of who you are, but don't lose the ability to laugh at yourself. (This is a lot easier when you associate with positive people.) Live everyday as if it were your last, because one day it will be. Don't be afraid to bite of more than you can chew. Take big risks. Never hang back. Get out there and go for it. After all, isn't that what life is all about? I think so too.
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03:00 pm
[Link] | i fucking hate ohio. die ohio die. sigh. atleast i'm home now.
and to whom it may concern if you think your being tricky when you talk shit about me behind my back... your not. your dramatic. your an asshole. good riddance.
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12:56 pm
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also... party this saturday at ty's for my birthday. chip arms #2 (the corner of broomfield and deming, right across from the cabin)
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08:23 pm
[Link] | it was a short lived disaster and i could not be happier that its over. thank goodness.
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11:06 am
[Link] | if anyone has a better cure for a broken heart than time please let me know.
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01:24 pm
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this is a phase i'm glad you grew out of i haven't updated in oh so long... so i thought i would maybe try it. i'm taking far to many credits this semester, luckily my job is layed back and almost stress free. ... i'm really wishing that i hadn't screwed around so much in my early years here at central, i'm working twice as hard to get back on track. as for this past summer... i met alot of new people... and became much closer to some i already knew. grilled, floated down the river, went up north. all the fun things summer should include... never made it to cedar point though, thank goodness for halloweekends. i'm going to see ellen mid october! and in a little over a month i'll be 22. i'm not sure i'm ready to be that old. but in celebration i'm going to jump out of a plane. one year ago i would have never guessed this would be my life, but i'm happy it is. xoxo.
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05:32 pm
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Your Birthdate: October 2 |
Your birth on the 2nd day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your life.
The 2 is a very social number allowing you to make friends easily and quickly.
Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group.
You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection.
You are more prone than most to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil.
It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. |
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01:08 pm
[Link] | coke is for losers
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02:33 pm
[Link] | so vh1 dedicated the entire month of apirl to music... thats like dariy queen dedicating may to icecream.
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01:27 pm
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.g.r.a.p.h.i.c. anyone willing to help me with photo shop? nothing to major, just a basic tutorial would be awesome!
thanks xoxo
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08:57 pm
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.l.u.g.n.u.t. "sorry" goes to out to the majority of my friends. i've been lame... i've been unreliable... and i haven't been around. but to anyone who'll still have me i'm ready to not be such a bitch and crawl out of my slump. i replaced my phone and lost my phone book. so leave your number, call me, we'll make plans. xoxo amanda
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07:37 am
[Link] | so fuck... what a weekend. my roomate gets mugged... my brother gets arrested here... making this three county jails he's stayed in. i sorta talked to my dad for the first time since we've been home. and when it comes to boys i'm lost... i think i need to make a trip to china one so i can get a fortune cookie... i feel like thats a sure fire way to figure this out.
a bee stung my eye brow this morning. that still really hurts. i might not have a job anymore... so we'll see how that works out.
i really love helena and meg... applebee's for life. i guess all in all this should have been a great weekend. *nods*
oh... and i think my apartment is getting ready to fall over. its been making odd noises for the past week.
Current Mood: anxious
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10:13 am
[Link] | so... i'm heading home today for my birthday weekend... if you would like to catch one last glimpse of me as a twenty year old, i suggest stopping by before 3 or 4.
don't forget to call on saturday, i'm not sure how grand my phone will work, but call and atleast leave a message.
wish me luck in vegas kids.
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03:40 pm
[Link] | today i made a myspace account i'm not sure what to do with it though
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10:00 am
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i'm sorry i kicked that cute little puppy... you know when you where little and you'd make something really tremendous out of your linkin logs... and them some jerk would come over and knock it all over? right now i feel like thats the analogy for my life.
Current Mood: artistic
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05:24 am
[Link] | katleen sears just saved my life.
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05:47 pm
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two kisses on the cheek and a smack on the ass NEW YORK CITY. .A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. however i decided a few real important things 1* i would never finish school if i was there 2* my friends are all going to move soon any ways, to maybe i should enjoy the time i have right now 3* you spend a lot of time alone when you don't know anyone 4* i need to over come my fear of birds
oh... and i gave up caffiene, red meat, and sex. so keep me in check.
Current Mood: giddy
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04:42 am
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distance growing closer i met a boy. we watched the olympics then sat on the hoods of our cars talking for hours. now, at 4:43 in the am i can only think wo thoughts. *yay* *why can't i let go*
...when i was getting ready to say goodbye and such we decided that it would be more fun not to exchange numbers and just to pay eachother random visits as often as we could... if even only for 3 minutes here and there. he doesn't know about NYC, i'm not sure what that means.
Current Mood: anxious
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01:04 pm
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we stand heartache to heartache i think i should have listened to the cookie. "keep your plans a secret"
thursday feels awful close. i'm really nervous. i got in a big fight with my dad last night, he hung up on me... i have a bad feeling he won't talk to me before i leave.
morgan came up this weekend. i'm happy i got to see him before he left for india.
jp and i got pulled over last night... because he was driving to slow.
i haven't felt like smiling these past few days... if you'd like to be a part of the "cheer amanda up gang" please feel free to do so.
xoxo amanda
Current Mood: cold
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04:44 pm
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it takes a silly girl to lie about her dreams i missed your face when i woke up this morning... not what i expected... i can't decide if it takes a stronger person to stay awake, or to know when you should stay in bed. and by bed i do of course mean the couch.
i'm simply in love with my new tattoo, even if it did ruin my new tank top last night. i tried to post a picture of it earlier today... but sadly i can't find the cord to hook my camera up to the computer. sigh. if you can be of help with this let me know... theres some out of town kids i promised a picture to.
the new york vs mt. pleasant fight is still at a standstill... to go or to stay. either way i think i'd still be missing something.
i suppose now its time to cut cut cut my hair and meet mika in the park. call me... i feel alone lately.
Current Mood: confused Current Music: the humming in my head
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